Honestly, let’s try honesty this time, what I really feel? What is going inside this big head, as usual the boring logic of being confused crafted around like a “jalebi” to come out as some deep philosophical post! Not anymore.
I was a lover boy! Not anymore, I loved innocently; I loved the idea of being in love. I was a true believer of people in love, I loved the happenings which used to happen when love happened (sorry GMAT – your grammar can wait), oh! So classic it used to be. The “revolutionary love” we used to call it. I see it nowhere now, it’s dead, something has happened to the love of today, the hormones have lost their effect it seems, it’s not as strong as it used to be. One may ask why I am acting like an octogenarian blabbering about the old times. A simple answer to all, I want to love, coz I haven’t loved for long, I haven’t loved anything/anyone for long. I remember the old, young version of myself crying my heart out for buying a kite, getting scolded for flying it day in and day out, screwing the next day math exam because I spent the entire evening staring at the sky for kites. That was my love, I still dream of it, I miss that love because it was honest, I loved it because, well there is no “because”. I just did. Where is that hormone now which acted then and has diminished now! Where is that love?
I remember my school days, the class used to be always divided among 2 rows, one for boys, and the other for the fairer part. It was normal to talk to them, till a age, the age we all turn to teenage from a child and there was one girl in the class, and somehow, my hormones made me feel super good , when I spoke to her. Oh! So good it used to be, just to talk, just a small talk, that was the love, the first one!.
Following the usual trend, I just surfed into the waves of old memory, never helps me in writing anything arghhh!!!. Alright, let’s get to the point here! I am here in Bangalore, a single guy, happy to mingle at the slightest opportunity, only if opportunity finds me, quite desperate it may sound, but anyways I won’t shy away from it. I look around myself and I find nothing to love, nothing to be passionate about apart from the usual career planning and everything. All the girls around are dreading about their marriage, everyone is preparing for CAT/GMAT/ some rat race or the other. Earning, learning, shopping, eating: so damn monotonous! People are blinking and missing the moments, moments they will regret again in 10 years, I can very well see myself writing about the current days 10 years later, still missing the love, comparing my future days with that of today. Past was lovelier, present is lovely and the future seems surely to be gloomy! Woah! It rhymes as well! Be in love, with anyone, with anything, it’s a good feeling to have, makes you feel good, gives you a food for thought. The rat gets eaten at the end of the race; why not make yourself a rat in love eh!!.
I am going to score pathetic in writing skills! Count one more! i have lost this one as well.
RAHUL SHILSARMA ............
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